08Jun09/Monday/8:16 pm
I am on the greatest and most uncertain adventure of my life. Adventure here doesn’t mean that I am going on a thrill ride. For the first time in my life, adventure means that I am going into danger. I certainly don’t want to play that up; I feel that I will be cared for and safe. But, I am entering a war zone. Men and women do it all the time, every day. They have done this throughout history. Today, however, it is real to me. Today, I have set out to walk as many who have gone before me.
I have sung the national anthem on many occasions. I have said the pledge of allegiance to the United States more than I can enumerate. Something has shifted within in me this last year. I have been an active duty officer in the US Army for one year today. When I hear the national anthem or say the pledge of allegiance today, my throat closes up, tears fill my eyes. It is different to me now. I have walked with soldiers for a year. I have seen what they do. Certainly, there are some who care less than others. There are some who are just waiting until their contract is up. But, there are others. These others work diligently to secure our freedom. These others pour their lives into defending the defending our country. These others live out fully the commitment to serve. I am flying now toward the Middle East. Afghanistan will be my home for the next 12 months. For the past several months I have come to know these soldiers, men and women like you and I. I pray that we all would return together. It is unlikely to be true. What lies ahead is in no way evident to me. There will be good days. There will be bad days. For now, that is all I know.
So what will I do for the next 12 months? I have one option, and one option only. I will “trust in the Lord with all of my heart. I will not lean on my own understanding. In all my ways, I will acknowledge Him. And, He will direct my path,”( Prov. 3:5&6). I have stepped out in faith many times in my life. Other times my faith has been weak, anemic. Today, I am not sure if I have strong faith or if I am just following because I have no other option than to trust in the Lord. Is that too honest? I do know this: I am where I need to be. Some might argue with that. I have a statement for those people. It isn’t a debate. God has placed me just where I am. To answer the question of what I will do, it is just this simple; I will trust in the Lord. Obviously I will do much in the next 12 months. Saying that I will only trust may sound irresponsible to some. For those who know me, you realize that I won’t possibly just sit around. I am saying that there is no way to complete this mission in my strength. Notice that I didn’t say there was no way to complete this mission in my strength alone. That would imply that I would be assisting God. I am banking solely upon Him doing this in me. That is it. For those who are still struggling with the idea of Grace and God doing everything, I will go ahead and give you something to chew on as well. Because right now, you guys still want some concrete answers about what I will actually be doing. But to be clear, God will be doing these things through me.
I will be praying, praying that I have strength to see young men and women wounded and likely killed in battle. I will be loving them with deep and abiding love that I can only tap because the author of love lives in me and is overflowing out of me. I will hear the hurts of lives that have been tattered and torn from the pains of life. I will share Jesus with people who need him like never before. I will pray with my security team as they prepare to defend me and escort me through God knows what. I will bond with men and women who have given up so much to attain for us freedom that costs so much. I will cry with some. I will laugh often. I will live and bloom right where God has placed me. I will strive to soak up every moment knowing that there will be moments that I want, and need, and hurt as well. I will share my hurt. I will grow in godliness. I will lean on Jesus like I really believe what He says is true. I will find Him in the darkness of terror. I will take light to that darkness. He will dispel it. I will stand back when others say, “Chaplain, thank you.” I will say to them, “I could never have done that; it must be Jesus.”
My mom, dad, sister, niece, and an aunt and uncle spent the last few days with me in my home. It was a wonderful time. I left them today. It was difficult. They hugged me and cried. I knew my mom would struggle. She did. But, my aunt and uncle showed me something today that struck me deeply. They showed me how difficult this is for them as well. As I embraced them, my parents, sister, and niece I was emboldened in the difficulty to live large in the days to come, to pour myself out for God and Country. Today is a good day to fight a war. Today is a good day to serve this country. Today is a good day to serve my King.
I am on the greatest and most uncertain adventure of my life. Adventure here doesn’t mean that I am going on a thrill ride. For the first time in my life, adventure means that I am going into danger. I certainly don’t want to play that up; I feel that I will be cared for and safe. But, I am entering a war zone. Men and women do it all the time, every day. They have done this throughout history. Today, however, it is real to me. Today, I have set out to walk as many who have gone before me.
I have sung the national anthem on many occasions. I have said the pledge of allegiance to the United States more than I can enumerate. Something has shifted within in me this last year. I have been an active duty officer in the US Army for one year today. When I hear the national anthem or say the pledge of allegiance today, my throat closes up, tears fill my eyes. It is different to me now. I have walked with soldiers for a year. I have seen what they do. Certainly, there are some who care less than others. There are some who are just waiting until their contract is up. But, there are others. These others work diligently to secure our freedom. These others pour their lives into defending the defending our country. These others live out fully the commitment to serve. I am flying now toward the Middle East. Afghanistan will be my home for the next 12 months. For the past several months I have come to know these soldiers, men and women like you and I. I pray that we all would return together. It is unlikely to be true. What lies ahead is in no way evident to me. There will be good days. There will be bad days. For now, that is all I know.
So what will I do for the next 12 months? I have one option, and one option only. I will “trust in the Lord with all of my heart. I will not lean on my own understanding. In all my ways, I will acknowledge Him. And, He will direct my path,”( Prov. 3:5&6). I have stepped out in faith many times in my life. Other times my faith has been weak, anemic. Today, I am not sure if I have strong faith or if I am just following because I have no other option than to trust in the Lord. Is that too honest? I do know this: I am where I need to be. Some might argue with that. I have a statement for those people. It isn’t a debate. God has placed me just where I am. To answer the question of what I will do, it is just this simple; I will trust in the Lord. Obviously I will do much in the next 12 months. Saying that I will only trust may sound irresponsible to some. For those who know me, you realize that I won’t possibly just sit around. I am saying that there is no way to complete this mission in my strength. Notice that I didn’t say there was no way to complete this mission in my strength alone. That would imply that I would be assisting God. I am banking solely upon Him doing this in me. That is it. For those who are still struggling with the idea of Grace and God doing everything, I will go ahead and give you something to chew on as well. Because right now, you guys still want some concrete answers about what I will actually be doing. But to be clear, God will be doing these things through me.
I will be praying, praying that I have strength to see young men and women wounded and likely killed in battle. I will be loving them with deep and abiding love that I can only tap because the author of love lives in me and is overflowing out of me. I will hear the hurts of lives that have been tattered and torn from the pains of life. I will share Jesus with people who need him like never before. I will pray with my security team as they prepare to defend me and escort me through God knows what. I will bond with men and women who have given up so much to attain for us freedom that costs so much. I will cry with some. I will laugh often. I will live and bloom right where God has placed me. I will strive to soak up every moment knowing that there will be moments that I want, and need, and hurt as well. I will share my hurt. I will grow in godliness. I will lean on Jesus like I really believe what He says is true. I will find Him in the darkness of terror. I will take light to that darkness. He will dispel it. I will stand back when others say, “Chaplain, thank you.” I will say to them, “I could never have done that; it must be Jesus.”
My mom, dad, sister, niece, and an aunt and uncle spent the last few days with me in my home. It was a wonderful time. I left them today. It was difficult. They hugged me and cried. I knew my mom would struggle. She did. But, my aunt and uncle showed me something today that struck me deeply. They showed me how difficult this is for them as well. As I embraced them, my parents, sister, and niece I was emboldened in the difficulty to live large in the days to come, to pour myself out for God and Country. Today is a good day to fight a war. Today is a good day to serve this country. Today is a good day to serve my King.
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