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Burn In My

But if I say, I will not remember Him or speak anymore in His name, Then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire shut up in my bones; and I am weary of holding it in, and I cannot endure it.” (Jer. 20:9)

More than ever in my life I find that I need God. It is almost funny how I used to sing songs about needing God or speak messages about our need for Him. It may be so funny that it is almost sickening. To think that I have thought that I have needed God before in my life, not like now.

I am waiting on Him. I am asking Him to lead me. The reason I am doing this is because I need His direction. I have none for myself. It is both a great place to be and a difficult place to be. It has been a time of many questions.

I was watching a portion of the movie The Village. If you haven’t seen it and want to, you should stop reading this. Go get the movie, watch it, and then read this blog. I hate ruing movies for people. In this movie a group of people withdraw and isolate themselves from society. They all move to a place miles from civilization to a plot of land that is surrounded by trees on every side. They develop their own way of living. They make their clothes. They build their homes from wood that they have cut. They raise their families in this utopia that they think they are building for themselves. As their children grow older and ask questions they have realized that they need to create a reality that will keep the kids from wandering into the outside world. They tell those who were not in on the original plan that creatures live in the woods. They tell them that they cannot go near the woods. They create an elaborate plan just to keep people under their control. They even have costumes that are used to prove to them that these creatures exist. Everyone lives in fear and thus, under control.

I wonder what of our created world of church has kept us from the truth. Just think of the way we view God. Since the beginning of time we have worked at convincing people that God’s word teaches that God is our Father. Why do we do that? We do it because the church has so corrupted the image of God that we spend most of our timing retraining believers in the truth. What else have we created that isn’t consistent with who God truly is?

I have been asking God a lot of questions lately. They are tough ones. The reason that they are tough is because I am searching to know God more than I ever have before. Crises do this kind of thing to you. Now that I really need Him, I must also know Him. My questions are tough.

I was watching television last night. I watched the movie about 9-11. I saw how strongly Muhommed Attah believed that when he died he would receive 72 virgins when he got to heaven. I realized that I was actually thinking, “What if he is right.” Please don’t panic! I’ll explain why you shouldn’t panic later. Just hang with me. I immediately began to wonder why that would even pop into my mind. It wasn’t that I believed in Islam; I don’t. But, I realized that there was weakness in my faith due to all of the other things I have found not to be true in the church.

The danger of making personal preferences to be biblical absolutes is that it causes people to wonder what the real truth is. The church is so nervous about controlling its members that we make much out of that which is not much at all. Therefore, when we mix in truth with half-truth, we confuse one another.

Most surveys by Barna and others say that this present generation is behaving less like church people than ever before. They pray less, read the bible less, and go to church less. These same researchers say that this present generation is more responsive to spirituality than ever before. They are open to other faiths. They seek truth as it relates to them. When you put these two statistics together, you have a disaster.

I have heard a lot of people talk about how God is going to use this generation to bring revival to our country. I have been hearing that for all of my life. It hasn’t happened yet. Why is that so?

It is so because we have decided to teach half-truths don’t play out in the real world. We have created our Village of believers that the world can’t even understand. We use our own jargon. No one knows what we are saying. We have put walls up much like the trees that surrounded that created community that I told you about earlier. We try to attract the world to our Villages rather than going outside those walls into the trees to be with the world. We have huddled in our safety zones all the while we preach over and again about getting out of our comfort zones. That’s bullshit. We aren’t going anywhere. We run back and forth into the Village. Like the movie, we have our own system of trade. We patronize businesses of other Villagers. We are isolated and withdrawn.

Now do you wonder why your kids hate church? We have lied to them. It’s time to simply explore the word and teach it.

I have many more questions. I am not open to Islamic teaching at all. I felt like I needed to say that. But, I am going to search the word to find the truth. I am not asking anyone. I suggest you do the same. You can start with the verse that I gave you.

I had a huge question about my faith last night. Jeremiah had one too. He was fed up with losing. No one was listening to him. He decided that it wasn’t worth it anymore. He didn’t even want to speak God’s name. But it burned in Him like a fire shut up in his bones. He couldn’t hold it in if he tried.

Just like you, I question a lot of things. I have found that doesn’t bother God. He can take my questions. Like Jeremiah, I also find that I cannot contain the God that lives with in me. I can only question things for just a bit. Then, I realize that He consumes me. He truly consumes me.

He is God. There is no other. When I get fed up and want to doubt or quit, I can’t. I can’t because He knows me and I know Him. He is a consuming fire. I could not contain Him if I tried.

I love you, your servant, your friend,
Tim

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