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A Day at the Race

I got up on Sunday at 6:30am. Dave Roesler and Justin Pohly arrived at my house around 7:00am. We loaded up and headed toward Talladega. We grabbed some breakfast at Mickey D’s. We were off to the race.

I have to admit; I wasn’t real excited about the race. Dave told me after last year’s race that he wanted me to go to the next race. I agreed to go. Well, the big day came. We were on our way. We stopped to pick up Jimmy and Paul, two of Dave’s relatives. It was shaping up to be a great day.

About twenty miles away we could already see the giant advertising signs being pulled by the planes. We took a back road to one of the parking lots. I believe the road was 77. We finally made it to the parking lot. Actually it was more like hundreds of acres of field where everyone parked. Dave drove us to our parking spot. We had about a 1 1/2 mile walk to the track. We had an open-view of the stands. It was huge. It was amazing to see how many people go to races. There were cars everywhere.

Now I don’t have to tell you that there were mullets as far as the eye could see. I saw more tank tops, tattoos, and halter-tops than I have seen in one place in my life. Much to my surprise, there were a lot of well-rounded people there too. Some people think that only rednecks watch NASCAR. While there are rednecks there, there are also plenty of other types. Either way, almost everybody is drinking beer. Budweiser must make a killing at this race.

My crew and I made it to the souvenir city. It is the large area outside the track where tractor-trailer beds have been turned into mobile stores. Each racecar driver has his own store where you can buy everything from chap-stick to jerseys. We all got a hat with the exception of Paul; he bought his girlfriend a hooded sweatshirt. We finally reached the gate.

I got my first view of the track once we got in the gate. It was huge. Wow! I was starting to get excited. We grabbed a burger, some fries, and a Mt. Dew. I knew that I was going to be a race fan when I discovered that they served Mt. Dew. Yeah baby! We took our food to our seats.

There was a lot of preliminary stuff going on. An army reserve band was playing right in front of us. Our seats where right at the start/finish line. The band was right in front of us. They also introduced all the drivers right in front of us. The seats were great. Pit row was just to our left. There were some military guys who parachuted onto the field. Somebody was trying to sing. He wasn’t doing too well. He may have had a good voice. But, he tore it up trying to get it out. One of the coolest things was when four F-15’s flew over. That was so cool. Then they came back and did a max climb. I think that is what you call it. Basically they flew back over and turned it straight up into the sky. Max climb sounds good to me.

Then the awaited time came. Lucy Baxley welcomed us. I’m just kidding. I don’t really care about Lucy Baxley. The real moment was when they said, “Gentlemen start your engines.” And, they did. Holy crap it was great. All the drivers started up and began rolling. They made about two laps to warm up. They were going maybe 70 or 80 mph. Then, the race began. You could hear the engines whining as they made the loop. They got about 1/4 mile from us on our left. They were coming out of the last turn. All of a sudden I could hear this low rumble like thousands of elephants running toward us. Then, they got to us. This loud engine roar exploded. You could even feel the wind. I just turned and looked at Justin with my jaw dropped. Adrenalin was racing through my veins. I was on my feet of course. I stayed up for the first thirty laps. Immediately I was a race fan. If you had asked me if I would have enjoyed it like this, I would have thought you were crazy. I loved it. I couldn’t wait until they came back around, which took about thirty seconds. They were driving around 200mph. It was one of the most exhilarating feelings I have ever had. It was close to skydiving and skiing. That’s big for me to say that.

The first thirty or so laps I couldn’t contain the excitement. Then, they started making pit stops to change their tires and refuel. I found myself counting how long it took. It varied from about nine to twelve seconds. That’s fast.

I am ashamed to admit it. Some of the most exciting moments of the race were the wrecks. I just have to say it. When the first crash occurred, I jumped to feet again. It was a real rush. I grabbed Justin and yelled, “Justin, there’s a wreck.” I think I even said, “That’s so cool.” There was another wreck at the end. Dale Earnhardt Jr. was about an 1/8 of a mile from winning. Directly behind him was Jimmy Johnson. Vick was behind Johnson. Everyone else was in a single-file line behind them. We were all waiting for someone to slip out and try to pass. The crowd was going crazy. We were all on our feet. Then, it happened. Johnson and Vick, who are on the same team, slipped out to pass Dale Jr. Vick was going to draft-bump Johnson to give him some advantage on Jr. When he did he shoved Johnson into Jr. They both spun out of control. Vick immediately went from third to first and won the race. It was nuts. I didn’t know what to think. You know I was not a race fan until Sunday. I thought maybe he would get a do-over. But the race was over and Vick was the victor. I was told that this was the way racing went.
I left the track that day as a new convert. I am now a part of the Church of NASCAR. Yes, I am leaving my roots. I know that I was brought up Southern Baptist. But today, I am living in a new light. I will now be serving the King of Beer, Budweiser. I hope you guys can take a joke. If you can’t I apologize. I apologize that you can’t take a joke.

We left Mecca and began our journey back to the car. We encountered several drunken Jr. fans that were bemoaning the last seconds of the race. Many words were used. Most of them you can imagine.

We made it to the car. Dave decided to get lunchmeat and bread for us to eat when we got back to the car. We pulled out the camping chairs and had a sandwich. The idea was to allow a lot of the 250,000 people to get out before we joined the traffic jam. It didn’t work. But, it was a good idea. We sat there for about an hour or so before we decided it was safe to leave. We were wrong. We sat in line for about an hour and a half and only moved thirty feet. I had to pee. So, I went on a journey.

I returned to the car only to find that they hadn’t moved any while I was gone. I got back in. Then, I decided to see why we weren’t moving. I walked ahead of the car about a 1/4 of a mile. I found the main exit road of three lanes. They weren’t letting our line and a line next to us in. So, I had an idea. I stepped into the traffic in the main three lanes and stuck my hand out. Strangely enough, they stopped. I waved the two side lanes, one of which we were in. I continued this. I would let four cars go in all three of the main lanes and then stop them. Then, I would let four cars out of the side. I eventually secured two more strangers to help. Thank God they walked up. It was getting hairy. Between the three of us, it ran almost smoothly.

There were some dissidents in the traffic. One guy in a Cadillac wasn’t going to stop. I stepped in front of him. He hit the brakes and yelled, “What the hell are you doing?” I slammed my hand on his hood as he was stopping and said, “If you don’t like it, get your ass out of the car and do something about it.” I am not usually that mean. But, I was in a bit of a stressful situation. He didn’t get out, thank God. One other lady was going to just fly by me. I jumped out in front of her and told her to be patient. Overall people were nice to us. They were very thankful that we were helping.

Some people were so thankful that they were giving me gifts. I felt so flattered. The first gift was a Michelob Ultra. Well, I was thirsty. So, I did what any Baptist would have done. I popped the top and drank it. Now I looked like a typical NASCAR fan. I am stopping traffic with my beer hand and waving them on with the other. I collected several more beers in the line. I gave some to my traffic assistants. I kept two more for myself to take with me.

Dave and the guys eventually get to the top of the hill and close to where I am directing. I guess they had been wondering what happened to me. I am sure all doubts were banished when they saw me in the intersection. I moved them about a 1/4 of a mile in about forty minutes. That was much faster than thirty feet in an hour and a half. When they got to me, I jumped in and left the traffic with the two guys helping me.

I am now a race fan, and a traffic director. It was a great experience. I am counting down the days until next year.

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