For those of you who read my blogs, you may already know that I took a cool flight with Alan Cockrell not too long ago. It was sweet. You need to check out that blog. All of my blogs for the last four months are at timbslim.blogspot.com
About ten years ago, I was working out at Gold’s Gym in Jasper, Alabama. I know it’s hard for most of you to believe that I used to work out. Believe it or not, I got this body naturally without steroids and heavy workouts. It’s a stretch, but it’s true. I am 100% au natural. God just blesses some of us with amazing physiques. Others have to work at it. Anyway, I was working out at Gold’s when I got this phone call. It was Frankie Robinson.
Frankie called me at the gym at about 10:30am. I had not eaten breakfast. I had also been working out hard. I was probably going around and talking to people mostly. That is more of what I did at the gym. Sometimes I would chill in the pool or sauna as long as there wasn’t an old fat man in there. That’s kind of gross. Frankie said, “Tim, I am on my way to the airport and wanted to see if you could come fly with me.” I said, “Sure.” He told me that I had to leave and meet him right then. I said, “I’ll meet you there.”
Frankie had his pilot’s license. He used to fly small aircraft. This was going to be my first flight with him and my first flight in a small plane. I was excited. However, I had nothing to eat so far that day. I was really hungry.
I arrived at the airport around 11:00am. Frankie met me there. He was preparing the plane for take off. We both climbed in. He took the plane down the runway; we took off. It was so cool. We flew over Smith Lake. We cruised around for a while and headed to Cullman. We landed there and took a break. It was a great trip except for one surprise.
We were cruising through the air. I was taking in the view and enjoying the adventure. I thought Frankie was some kind of crazy, insane detailed person. You know, the kind of person you want flying the plane. I figured that all that talk he was doing to the airport people, better known to smart people as air control, was real technical and stuff. So, I figured that Frankie was flying to Cullman according to some kind of specifications and coordinates. I was impressed. This was when I got surprised. We get close to Cullman and Frankie looks at me and says, “Let me know if you see the airport.” I said, “Let you know if I see what?” He said, “The airport.” I said, “I thought you knew where it was.” He said, “I sort of do.” Now I don’t have to tell you the immediate emotions that shot through my body at that moment. I am thinking, “I have crawled into this death trip at my own will.” “I am 2,000 feet in the air with a guy flying a plane asking me to look for the place where we are going to land.” I mean isn’t there some kind of technical term for a person who takes a plane into the air without a plan landing; yeah it’s TERRORIST.
I spotted the airport and quickly relayed the message to the pilot, Frankie. I was now fully expecting him to look at me and say, “You want to land it; I have never done this before.” I was imagining that he went to pilot school at the Taliban/Bin Laden School for Takeoffs Only. Actually, this was before 9-11; the humor just fits better.
We landed; believe it or not it was smooth. We got out of the plane and walked around for a bit. Remember I was hungry. I made my way to the only form of sustenance that I could find. It was a snack machine. I ganked some Peanut M&M’s and Praise Jesus there was a Mountain Dew machine there. I grabbed one of those too. It never occurred to me that consuming this amount of sugar and syrup on an empty stomach would be an issue. I just scarfed it down. That would turn out to be a costly mistake.
We get back up in the wild blue yonder. We are headed back to Curry. We flew along Smith Lake for a while. Frankie made several hard banks along the lake. I noticed that I started to feel funny. Then, I realized my snack had not agreed with an empty stomach and the quick changes in direction. I knew that I was in trouble. I alerted my competent pilot who then began to search for a barf bag. My luck of course, there wasn’t one. Frankie then instructed me to open the side window and blow chunks out the side of the plane if I needed to. Well, I needed to. I opened the window. The near 130mph wind almost swiped my sunglasses off my face. I caught them just in time. I stuck my head out and proceeded to dispense of the poisonous M&M’s and Mountain Dew. It wasn’t a pretty sight. I completed my air vomit and sat back in the seat. I looked at Frankie who was wiping tears from his eyes from laughter. I looked at him and said, “Is any on my face?” He began to laugh even harder; I didn’t think that was possible. He said that I had vomit with bits of M&M’s blown back into my hair. It was kind of plastered back.
We finally landed back in Curry. We got out of the plane. It was a beautiful sight. The side of the plane made it look like we were advertising for the Rainbow Coalition. Every color of M&M was visible, dried and stuck down the side of the plane. It was abstract art. I call it Vomit in the Air.
About ten years ago, I was working out at Gold’s Gym in Jasper, Alabama. I know it’s hard for most of you to believe that I used to work out. Believe it or not, I got this body naturally without steroids and heavy workouts. It’s a stretch, but it’s true. I am 100% au natural. God just blesses some of us with amazing physiques. Others have to work at it. Anyway, I was working out at Gold’s when I got this phone call. It was Frankie Robinson.
Frankie called me at the gym at about 10:30am. I had not eaten breakfast. I had also been working out hard. I was probably going around and talking to people mostly. That is more of what I did at the gym. Sometimes I would chill in the pool or sauna as long as there wasn’t an old fat man in there. That’s kind of gross. Frankie said, “Tim, I am on my way to the airport and wanted to see if you could come fly with me.” I said, “Sure.” He told me that I had to leave and meet him right then. I said, “I’ll meet you there.”
Frankie had his pilot’s license. He used to fly small aircraft. This was going to be my first flight with him and my first flight in a small plane. I was excited. However, I had nothing to eat so far that day. I was really hungry.
I arrived at the airport around 11:00am. Frankie met me there. He was preparing the plane for take off. We both climbed in. He took the plane down the runway; we took off. It was so cool. We flew over Smith Lake. We cruised around for a while and headed to Cullman. We landed there and took a break. It was a great trip except for one surprise.
We were cruising through the air. I was taking in the view and enjoying the adventure. I thought Frankie was some kind of crazy, insane detailed person. You know, the kind of person you want flying the plane. I figured that all that talk he was doing to the airport people, better known to smart people as air control, was real technical and stuff. So, I figured that Frankie was flying to Cullman according to some kind of specifications and coordinates. I was impressed. This was when I got surprised. We get close to Cullman and Frankie looks at me and says, “Let me know if you see the airport.” I said, “Let you know if I see what?” He said, “The airport.” I said, “I thought you knew where it was.” He said, “I sort of do.” Now I don’t have to tell you the immediate emotions that shot through my body at that moment. I am thinking, “I have crawled into this death trip at my own will.” “I am 2,000 feet in the air with a guy flying a plane asking me to look for the place where we are going to land.” I mean isn’t there some kind of technical term for a person who takes a plane into the air without a plan landing; yeah it’s TERRORIST.
I spotted the airport and quickly relayed the message to the pilot, Frankie. I was now fully expecting him to look at me and say, “You want to land it; I have never done this before.” I was imagining that he went to pilot school at the Taliban/Bin Laden School for Takeoffs Only. Actually, this was before 9-11; the humor just fits better.
We landed; believe it or not it was smooth. We got out of the plane and walked around for a bit. Remember I was hungry. I made my way to the only form of sustenance that I could find. It was a snack machine. I ganked some Peanut M&M’s and Praise Jesus there was a Mountain Dew machine there. I grabbed one of those too. It never occurred to me that consuming this amount of sugar and syrup on an empty stomach would be an issue. I just scarfed it down. That would turn out to be a costly mistake.
We get back up in the wild blue yonder. We are headed back to Curry. We flew along Smith Lake for a while. Frankie made several hard banks along the lake. I noticed that I started to feel funny. Then, I realized my snack had not agreed with an empty stomach and the quick changes in direction. I knew that I was in trouble. I alerted my competent pilot who then began to search for a barf bag. My luck of course, there wasn’t one. Frankie then instructed me to open the side window and blow chunks out the side of the plane if I needed to. Well, I needed to. I opened the window. The near 130mph wind almost swiped my sunglasses off my face. I caught them just in time. I stuck my head out and proceeded to dispense of the poisonous M&M’s and Mountain Dew. It wasn’t a pretty sight. I completed my air vomit and sat back in the seat. I looked at Frankie who was wiping tears from his eyes from laughter. I looked at him and said, “Is any on my face?” He began to laugh even harder; I didn’t think that was possible. He said that I had vomit with bits of M&M’s blown back into my hair. It was kind of plastered back.
We finally landed back in Curry. We got out of the plane. It was a beautiful sight. The side of the plane made it look like we were advertising for the Rainbow Coalition. Every color of M&M was visible, dried and stuck down the side of the plane. It was abstract art. I call it Vomit in the Air.
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