I had this friend named Jill in high school. Shawna, Jill and I actually were inseparable. Truth be known, I didn’t want to be separated from Shawna. Jill was a part of the mix because she was first Shawna’s friend. I didn’t mind. Anyway, the three of us hung out together all the time. Trouble was usually right behind the three of us. Our senior year proved to be our bonding time. We did everything together. I believe it was the three of us who broke into the school once. I am sure at least that Shawna and I were involved. I believe we were getting something for Shawna that she had left in class.
Those were the good ole days. Jill had this Camaro. It was a special edition. She would fly like a bat out of hell in that thing. I remember her taking me over to her house once. I swear to you that I thought we might die. She was doing like 90mph on a country back road. One time I was with her over by the country club. We had been at Shawna’s. We went into this curve way to fast, she lost control, and we did about three complete revolutions in the middle of the road before we came to a stop at this gate to a house. Crazy could not describe Jill. You would need curse words and maybe even have to borrow some words from aliens or something. She was insane. I liked her though. We had some good times.
Jill and I had an idea once. Some people who know us, know how scary that is. Shawna and her family were gone one Saturday night. Jill and I thought it would be fun to sneak into Shawna’s house and wait for her to scare her. Great idea huh? It sounded good to us. So we put the plan into action. You need to know a little background here.
Jack was Shawna’s dad. His job was to scare the living hell out of young men who showed interest in his daughter. If I am not mistaken, this was the only full-time job he had. And, he took pride in his work. When Jack spoke, I felt my spine weaken substantially. You know me; it takes a lot to get to me. But, Jack had my number. He was scary.
Jill and I put our plan into action. We get to the McCullar estate, pretty good-sized house. Of course we try all the doors. They were locked. Our plan was beginning to fall flat when all of a sudden we discovered that the bathroom window was open. God must have been with us. We began our stealth operations at this point. Now it was Operation Bathroom Entry.
Isn’t it interesting how a lot of toilets are right by the window. I thought so, especially this day. I decided that I should be the first to break the entry, being the man that I was. So, Jill helped me in, headfirst. This is when I discovered that the toilet was by the window. My hands were locked down on the side of the toilet, my face was being crammed into the toilet, while Jill shoved me in the widow. She was packing my body through the window by my feet. I was yelling at her to stop. She evidently couldn’t hear me. She finally forced me on through. I collapsed in the floor. I went around and let Jill in.
The McCullar’s were gone for another couple of hours. So, Jill and I had a snack and watched some television. We evidently misplaced the remote control. You’ll understand later.
We hear the McCullar’s pull up. So Jill and I scurry around and head downstairs. This is where Shawna’s room was. They had an entire second level downstairs. Her bedroom was at the far end. The McCullar’s get in the house. Almost immediately we hear Jack say that he can’t find the remote. Jill realizes where it is. Jack then begins to yell at his youngest daughter Shareda. He blames the loss of the remote on her. She begins to cry. Jill looks at me and says, “I think I left it’s in the couch. About then, Jack whips Shareda. It was sad but funny in a sick kind of way. At least Jill and I thought it was funny. I believe Shareda told us years later that she didn’t find the humor in it.
It is now time for everyone to go to bed. Jill and I place ourselves behind the couch that is just outside Shawna’s bedroom door. Our plan is to jump out right when Shawna starts in to the bedroom. This sounded like a good plan. My thought was that if I jumped up from behind the couch real fast that Shawna would recognize me and not get scared. Then Jill would follow me. I should have thought it through a little better.
Shawna says good night to everyone. She starts down the stairs. I am getting nervous. Jill and I are laughing quietly. I peak around the couch. I see Shawna approaching. This is my moment. I leap from behind the couch and open my mouth to call out her name and say, “It’s me.” Strangely enough she couldn’t hear me due to the deafening scream that was being released from deep within her lungs and out her mouth. Well, I don’t have to tell you that her mom heard her. It might be important to note that her neighbors likely heard also, so much for stealth.
Reda is Shawna’s mom. She came down those stairs so fast. She must have heard Shawna even thinking about screaming. I hear Reda running down the stairs. Jill is still tucked behind the couch, scaredy cat. I begin searching for a place to hide. Shawna and I run into the bedroom. Now, I have to say that as a teenaged young man, I was a bit excited to be hiding in Shawan’s room. I was thinking more of hiding in the bed like you see on the movies. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work out like the movies. I ended up in the closet, walk in closet.
While in the closet, I hear Reda comforting her daughter. She is asking if she is o.k. Shawna does a masterful job of covering for me. She said that she thought she saw something. At this point, I feel like I am going to make it. I am thinking I have been saved. It is then that Reda says, “Shawna, I am going to get your dress out of the closet and iron it for church.” About now, I am panicked. Jill is still out behind the couch laughing. I begin to look around the closet as if there is a better place to stand and not be noticed. Once again, Shawna pulled through for me. She said that she was wearing something else.
Jill, Shawna, and I survived once again by the skin of our teeth. There were many close calls with Jill.
Professionals performed the stunt you just read. Do not try this at home. Dangers include: Beating by a mean dad, cussing of your life, imprisonment, death, and a little fun. But seriously, don’t try this at home.
I love you, your servant, your friend,
Those were the good ole days. Jill had this Camaro. It was a special edition. She would fly like a bat out of hell in that thing. I remember her taking me over to her house once. I swear to you that I thought we might die. She was doing like 90mph on a country back road. One time I was with her over by the country club. We had been at Shawna’s. We went into this curve way to fast, she lost control, and we did about three complete revolutions in the middle of the road before we came to a stop at this gate to a house. Crazy could not describe Jill. You would need curse words and maybe even have to borrow some words from aliens or something. She was insane. I liked her though. We had some good times.
Jill and I had an idea once. Some people who know us, know how scary that is. Shawna and her family were gone one Saturday night. Jill and I thought it would be fun to sneak into Shawna’s house and wait for her to scare her. Great idea huh? It sounded good to us. So we put the plan into action. You need to know a little background here.
Jack was Shawna’s dad. His job was to scare the living hell out of young men who showed interest in his daughter. If I am not mistaken, this was the only full-time job he had. And, he took pride in his work. When Jack spoke, I felt my spine weaken substantially. You know me; it takes a lot to get to me. But, Jack had my number. He was scary.
Jill and I put our plan into action. We get to the McCullar estate, pretty good-sized house. Of course we try all the doors. They were locked. Our plan was beginning to fall flat when all of a sudden we discovered that the bathroom window was open. God must have been with us. We began our stealth operations at this point. Now it was Operation Bathroom Entry.
Isn’t it interesting how a lot of toilets are right by the window. I thought so, especially this day. I decided that I should be the first to break the entry, being the man that I was. So, Jill helped me in, headfirst. This is when I discovered that the toilet was by the window. My hands were locked down on the side of the toilet, my face was being crammed into the toilet, while Jill shoved me in the widow. She was packing my body through the window by my feet. I was yelling at her to stop. She evidently couldn’t hear me. She finally forced me on through. I collapsed in the floor. I went around and let Jill in.
The McCullar’s were gone for another couple of hours. So, Jill and I had a snack and watched some television. We evidently misplaced the remote control. You’ll understand later.
We hear the McCullar’s pull up. So Jill and I scurry around and head downstairs. This is where Shawna’s room was. They had an entire second level downstairs. Her bedroom was at the far end. The McCullar’s get in the house. Almost immediately we hear Jack say that he can’t find the remote. Jill realizes where it is. Jack then begins to yell at his youngest daughter Shareda. He blames the loss of the remote on her. She begins to cry. Jill looks at me and says, “I think I left it’s in the couch. About then, Jack whips Shareda. It was sad but funny in a sick kind of way. At least Jill and I thought it was funny. I believe Shareda told us years later that she didn’t find the humor in it.
It is now time for everyone to go to bed. Jill and I place ourselves behind the couch that is just outside Shawna’s bedroom door. Our plan is to jump out right when Shawna starts in to the bedroom. This sounded like a good plan. My thought was that if I jumped up from behind the couch real fast that Shawna would recognize me and not get scared. Then Jill would follow me. I should have thought it through a little better.
Shawna says good night to everyone. She starts down the stairs. I am getting nervous. Jill and I are laughing quietly. I peak around the couch. I see Shawna approaching. This is my moment. I leap from behind the couch and open my mouth to call out her name and say, “It’s me.” Strangely enough she couldn’t hear me due to the deafening scream that was being released from deep within her lungs and out her mouth. Well, I don’t have to tell you that her mom heard her. It might be important to note that her neighbors likely heard also, so much for stealth.
Reda is Shawna’s mom. She came down those stairs so fast. She must have heard Shawna even thinking about screaming. I hear Reda running down the stairs. Jill is still tucked behind the couch, scaredy cat. I begin searching for a place to hide. Shawna and I run into the bedroom. Now, I have to say that as a teenaged young man, I was a bit excited to be hiding in Shawan’s room. I was thinking more of hiding in the bed like you see on the movies. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work out like the movies. I ended up in the closet, walk in closet.
While in the closet, I hear Reda comforting her daughter. She is asking if she is o.k. Shawna does a masterful job of covering for me. She said that she thought she saw something. At this point, I feel like I am going to make it. I am thinking I have been saved. It is then that Reda says, “Shawna, I am going to get your dress out of the closet and iron it for church.” About now, I am panicked. Jill is still out behind the couch laughing. I begin to look around the closet as if there is a better place to stand and not be noticed. Once again, Shawna pulled through for me. She said that she was wearing something else.
Jill, Shawna, and I survived once again by the skin of our teeth. There were many close calls with Jill.
Professionals performed the stunt you just read. Do not try this at home. Dangers include: Beating by a mean dad, cussing of your life, imprisonment, death, and a little fun. But seriously, don’t try this at home.
I love you, your servant, your friend,
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